In The Middle

Being in the“Middle”

I watched a video today and the ending of it just kinda stuck to me. Being in that middle place in life. It’s a stage in life I think if not I just made it one.. Like as in the middle of a sandwich in some ways. At times life has you going every which way or where you stop catch your breath and have some wiggle room.

I remember the day when we brought home each of our girls. I remember how tiny and small they were. I use to worry about remembering their immunizations or when to start feeding them. Was it fruit or vegetables? Which was first? I remember worrying about things like diaper rash and teething. It use to be when my girls were babies I felt like I was needed around the clock. Diaper changings, and feedings… and with them being only 11 months apart it seemed to be a lot of each. One never took naps and the other had colic.




























I thought at times I was going to die from the lack of sleep. I would remind myself that I use to work and go to school that I surely could handle these two. I use to take pictures and write the stuff they did on calendars so I wouldn’t forget anything.

Soon they became toddlers still needing me but also still wanting to learn on their own how to do things. “Mommy, I do it” I would have to remind myself that they did have to learn and to give them some space. It was a gentle tap on my shoulder of things to come.



Then I blinked… I knew it was coming but I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.. Now, my two babies are teenagers. GULP!! They have that word “teen” behind the number. How quickly the time has gone. They are fourteen and fifteen years old. They now can do pretty much everything for themselves. I am the homework checker, basketball momma, a chauffer, the cook, a counselor, the MySpace police, texting mom, monitoring YouTube, and being the provider of chocolate or Starbucks, to being professional going to the mall momma. Still at times needed to do the momma fixing and tending to things, then it flips back to “Mom, I can do that” where I sit back and watch. Watching to see if they can do that then sorta mark it off my life list of things they need to learn.

Now I’m in my 40’s soon hitting my 50s. I’m really looking forward to turning 50 for some strange reason. I now find that I fill some of my time doing things that I never had time to do before. Training for half marathons or walks, going to the gym, fund raising for the Booster club of their basketball team, walking for the Breast Cancer 3 day. I’m finding I have time to do some things then there are still those times where being a momma gets to take front seat. I find myself going from being their only company to going and giving support by getting involved in their worlds to be a part of their world.

I’m hearing words like college, scholarships, traveling the world, futures and jobs. I hear their dreams of what they want life to be for them. I now am realizing that the sand in the hourglass is running low and that there’s still so much that I need to teach them and make sure they know how to do. Driving, cooking more, getting stains out of laundry, how to fish, do taxes, just those “life” things, to also make sure they know how important every person is in our lives, to resolve issues with people and speak truth and life into those we are around. Our job is now to help them reach those dreams. At times I’ve caught my girls doing something and when I asked how did they know how to do that they tell me “by watching you mom” so I guess some things I see myself moving from parent to counselor. Guiding them come up with the right choice. Just being there to listen. Less seems to be more when it comes to teens.


So now I’m in that middle place- that place where I’m re-learning about me while being there for them. It’s almost like when they were learning to walk. Remember when you stood behind ready to catch them while guiding them. That’s how life is with teens in a lot of ways.

This year for me, my goals are simple: to be more “in” the moment. To laugh more, learn to be more spontaneous, to do something to help others, take time to take care of me so that I stay healthy and strong. Instead of making a bucket list I want to make a life list and do all those things NOW and not wait. I want to stay focused on Christ and be a blessing to those around me. I am going to have an awesome incredible 2009.

So for you… what’s something you are going to do in 2009?

Love,
Debs

PS. Here's that video I was talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q